Baggage Claim: What Bags Are You Bringing to Each Relationship?
October 3, 2018
Hey Yall!! In the very recent past, I had a conversation with one of my good good friends while twisting her hair. You know the best conversations happen when someone is getting their hair done. It gives us the opportunity to discuss the great mysteries of life! We talked about relationships and ended up on this topic. Hey Kim, this one is dedicated to you! so let's hashtag Get Into It! We all talk about what we want in a mate and quite frankly, some of us have so many damn requirements! I implore you to take a moment to do an inventory of what you bring. But first, go ahead and cue up Eryka Badu, "Bag Lady"...... Ready? Let's Do This!
Sometimes we unknowingly bring baggage into relationships that do more damage than we realize and will admit. You ever meet someone who totes around a construction sized bad of "Shitty Attitude"? Nothing is ever right. Somebody is always working their nerves. Then there is Miss Girl with a backpack of Insecurity. She is always worried about what the world is thinking and saying. Girl, rest your nerves! So let me ask you... What's in your Relationship Bag? What do you bring that is a hindrance to achieving harmony? Are you operating as if everyone is that someone who broke your heart and messed up your mind? As soon as something happens that is not to your liking, you flashback to the bad experience and "be like", Oh Hell No.. I'm not doing this again. Come on Sis, give the person a chance. Before you give them the "This Isn't Gonna Work For Me" speech, let me ask you a few questions. Do you share with them that you bring a grocery bag full of Childhood Crazy? The people who were supposed to nurture you failed you so the rest of us have to suffer. Do you share that you bring a trash bag full of bad memories? You keep re living and re hashing every situation where somebody done did you dirty. Do you share that you bring a duffel bag full of fears? You won't open your heart or your mind to the possibility of anything new because you allow your fears to dominate your thinking. Do you share that you bring a laundry bag full of hurt? All of your actions and responses point to the obvious fact that you have been hurt too many times and you have damn near given up. Do you share that you only have a nickel bag of trust? Sis, what are you doing with these bags? Erykah said you gon' hurt your back, draggin all them bags like that. At what point do you sit your ass down and start unpacking? Get yourself a cool drink, a snack, put on your feel good music and act like you know!! Listen, when all is quiet, look and that person. Get out of your head and ask yourself if that person is good person. Not malicious. Not perfect but striving to be better. Then guess what you need to do? Get your shit together and be humble enough to ask for help unpacking them bags and start that living spree!!