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Even Me.. Having a Little Talk With Jesus

December 4, 2018

 Dear God,

Thank you for life, health and strength. Thank you for protecting my loved ones from hurt, harm, and danger. Rather than lash out, Lord I am gonna talk to you. Rather than shut down and give up, Lord I am gonna talk to you.  Lord it's rough. All of it. The Personal. The Inter Personal. The Professional. The Parental. All of it. It's hard to watch your children maneuver through this life. Nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. I know you will keep and protect them but it's still rough sometimes. But Lord I trust you.

Lord you know all about it.

Lord, it's hard to smile when all I wanna do is cry. The loud, ugly snotty cry.

I wanna cry for the broken little girl inside of me.

I wanna cry for the confused teenager inside of me.

I wanna cry for the weary, grown woman I am.

Lord I wanna fight back in those moments people are disrespectful, rude, mean, and nasty.

Lord, I wanna scream when things fall apart and don't go as planned.

Lord, I wanna scream. 

Even Me Lord.

You said You would give me Beauty for Ashes.

Lord, give me a praying spirit. One like those who came before me. The kind that won't stop praying. Even when things are going good. Strengthen me where you see fit. Clean up my heart, spirit, mind, soul, and mouth. 

Use me to show someone the way.

Lord I know you love me and there is a plan for my life.

Not my will. But yours.

Just continue to give me the will and I will find the strength.

Give me wisdom and understanding in difficult times.

Even Me.

 

 

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